Overhead the Albatross Hangs Motionless Upon the Air

Well, hasn't this month been active? With exams coming up I'm working all the time to make sure everything goes well, and -

You can always tell when I'm lying, can't you?

Well, it wasn't all a lie. I have got major exams within the next few weeks, but try as I might, my sub-concious just won't accept it. It feels strange; I should be panicking, revising constantly, making sure I know everything, but I'm not. And I don't know why.

Is it a lack of motivation? I don't think so. I like to think that I'm a fairly driven person, more so at least than some in my classes. Having said that... I'm honest enough to admit that I procrastinate often - frequently, even. Yes, I get the job done eventually, but always perilously close to the deadline. And when there's no deadline...

Needless to say, I've reached, to use the cliché, the "quiet before the storm," and it, to be frank, sucks. Is there too much pressure on young people today? Despite this, I don't think so. Yes, the need to succeed is great, but I think the whole feeling just gets created by maturing teenagers, who are reluctant to accept they're new position.

I'll admit that I've been one of them, blaming the system when I think an essay is too long, or found a paper more difficult that others I'd taken. People really are reluctant to take the blame. No, you didn't get an "F" because the paper was hard, you got it because you didn't work.

So where does that leave me? I've just criticised my own attitude, my conciousness knowing what is "right," yet my sub-conciousness remains unchanged. I don't think any amount of revelations can truly change people's sub-concious, regardless of what the media may say. That may just be my own cynical view because I myself have never felt something I have deemed "life-changing," but I can't really speak for anyone else here.

And who will read this? No one, I expect. Certainly not those only interested in a political commentary, or those "close" to me. The first is obvious - why would a political analyst be interested in a rant about life? And the latter hardly know about this; I haven't exactly drawn much attention to it.

Is this a safe haven? Away from the eyes of locals the anonymity of the internet can read, scoff and laugh at some ranting. Isn't it strange that you cannot confide in one person, but can to six billion?