Your Wisemen Don't Know How It Feels To Be Thick As A Brick

I'll be honest, I'd nearly forgotten about this. No problem, no regular readers. Anyway, someone at these forums I'm a member of drew my attention to this, and I thought "sod it, let's write again!"

Of course, like any good writer, I decided to look over my previous work. And what did I find? Stupid mistakes. I even spotted the cringeworthy their/they're mistake at one point. I can't be bothered to change it, but it does highlight a personality quirk, flaw, whatever you want to call it, that I have.

"Oh, I was thick back then."

I'm always saying it, or some sort of variation of it. And "back then" isn't even a long time, only a matter of months in this case. And in a few months time I'll look back over this and call myself "thick" (my word of choice for "idiotic" or "dumb", if only for the Jethro Tull reference). Is it embarrassment? I don't think so. I rarely, if ever get embarrassed; I simply don't care enough.

But I have noticed that I have a strange need to justify all my actions. That's not to say that I don't have my whimsical moments (who doesn't?), but I often find that everything I do needs some sort of excuse.

I don't think it's a guilt thing either, since most of these actions aren't anything to feel guilty over (that said, I am prone to feeling extremely guilty over nothing), but it's as if I never want to be in a situation where I don't know why I'm doing whatever I'm doing.

On the other hand, I fully accept that life has no purpose. I must simply be paranoid.

Moving swiftly on, GCSE results tomorrow, and to be honest, I don't really care. A Levels have taken a much moer important role now, and as far as I can tell, GCSEs are only good to make sure you can get into the right classes for the next year. And, without being arrogant, I'm confident I'm in already.

That said, I'll admit that I am curious about what I got, although I'll likely just say somthing like "I was thick when I took the exam." And that, other than bringing the post neatly around full circle, is the truth of it. Am I not the same person I was when I took those exams.

So do I really deserve whatever I get, be it good or bad?