"The Chances Of Anything Coming From Mars Are A Million To One," He Said, But Still They Come.

What an awful day.

Local election results released and, to my horror, the fucking Tories of all parties have done well.

Shit.

I'm completely baffled as to how anyone can vote for those swine. Labour have collapsed, which, while that would be a good thing in any other circumstance, I fear that this will just mean that the next General Election will be put off for as long as possible, and so we have ages with a weak government. Regardless of policy, a strong party is needed at the moment. With the global economic problem, having a government that's scared to act is pathetic.

And so we're left with the Tories. Thatcher-Mark-Two is ready and waiting to unleash his capitalistic bullshit upon the world. Any hope of peace that may have existed is gone, and if the American election goes the "right" way, nuclear war with Iran awaits. Great. We're all going to die.

Fiction has always loved the prospect of an apocalypse, and the end of civilisation. As I write this, I'm listening to Jeff Wayne's wonderful musical version of The War of the Worlds. Yet this isn't fiction. The Tories really are gaining power, and the only realistic candidate left in America who might avoid war - Obama - is being weakened by the stupid Democrat candidate race.

This may sound like hyperbole, but this may be the only way to convince some that something needs to be done. We are heading to a dystopia as bad as any described in fiction, and yet I cannot get the image of utopia out of my head.

Why is it that I find it easy to imagine a world without leaders, where people really are equal. Where the society is the only law and army needed. Where people don't discriminate for idiotic reasons. Where currency doesn't exist. Where there is no state, just a society that has no need for petty argument. Where help is genuinely offered with passion. Where everyone does their bit, because they want to.

The sad thing is that I know it will never happen. The futility is unbearable.

Overhead the Albatross Hangs Motionless Upon the Air

Well, hasn't this month been active? With exams coming up I'm working all the time to make sure everything goes well, and -

You can always tell when I'm lying, can't you?

Well, it wasn't all a lie. I have got major exams within the next few weeks, but try as I might, my sub-concious just won't accept it. It feels strange; I should be panicking, revising constantly, making sure I know everything, but I'm not. And I don't know why.

Is it a lack of motivation? I don't think so. I like to think that I'm a fairly driven person, more so at least than some in my classes. Having said that... I'm honest enough to admit that I procrastinate often - frequently, even. Yes, I get the job done eventually, but always perilously close to the deadline. And when there's no deadline...

Needless to say, I've reached, to use the cliché, the "quiet before the storm," and it, to be frank, sucks. Is there too much pressure on young people today? Despite this, I don't think so. Yes, the need to succeed is great, but I think the whole feeling just gets created by maturing teenagers, who are reluctant to accept they're new position.

I'll admit that I've been one of them, blaming the system when I think an essay is too long, or found a paper more difficult that others I'd taken. People really are reluctant to take the blame. No, you didn't get an "F" because the paper was hard, you got it because you didn't work.

So where does that leave me? I've just criticised my own attitude, my conciousness knowing what is "right," yet my sub-conciousness remains unchanged. I don't think any amount of revelations can truly change people's sub-concious, regardless of what the media may say. That may just be my own cynical view because I myself have never felt something I have deemed "life-changing," but I can't really speak for anyone else here.

And who will read this? No one, I expect. Certainly not those only interested in a political commentary, or those "close" to me. The first is obvious - why would a political analyst be interested in a rant about life? And the latter hardly know about this; I haven't exactly drawn much attention to it.

Is this a safe haven? Away from the eyes of locals the anonymity of the internet can read, scoff and laugh at some ranting. Isn't it strange that you cannot confide in one person, but can to six billion?

Us and Them

Another day, another stupid idea by the government. This time they want us to swear an "oath of allegiance" to the monarchy. They want us to swear? Well, in that case:

Fuck you, Ms. "Windsor".

If they seriously expect me to swear an oath to those in-bred mass-murderers, they can think again. Quite frankly, I'm outraged - insulted, even - that they even considered the notion. What does the monarchy and Britain mean to me? A nation of cheats, murderers and warmongers. The thought of people waving Union Flags happily at the thought of this "wonderful" nation literally sickens me. Yes, go on, celebrate the people who have killed so many others, and do nothing else!

And, yes, I'm aware that recently it has been the Thatchers and Blairs that have ordered the war in recent time, no fault on our perfect monarchy, right? Let's just casually ignore that they're the only ones who could have stopped any war that was to come. Oh but wait! What does the Queen do, other than regular hand exercises?

I'm optimistic that this won't go further, but I can safely say that I will never swear any such oath. I like to think that I can keep my word, and swearing this oath will be such a great act of hypocrisy that I could never show my face again. Yes, everyone's a hypocrite, but this really is that bad.

I'm not violent about it, before you wonder whether I'm about to bomb Windsor Castle. If the monarchy is truly going to be abolished, it has to happen legally. If it's done by force, that will only lead to problems between those who have different views. But if it goes through the government, then most of those against will already have had their minds changed, making for a much simpler and smoother process.

Let's show the world how a peaceful revolution can work.

Mae Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau Yn Annwyl I Mi

Today, for those who don't know, is Dydd Gŵyl Dewi - St David's Day. And a rare religious event I'll take notice of. Why? Because, despite the obvious Christian references, it's a day to be patriotic, a day to be proud to be Welsh.

Ah, shit. Pride's a sin, isn't it, as well as being denounced by the other two "different" religions, Islam and Judaism. Well to be frank, fuck you - maybe if "God" had taken some pride in his work some of the problems on the planet wouldn't be here. But I don't want to get into another rant about religion. I've made my views clear about that before, and I'd rather not get sidetracked.

I will however rant about the importance of taking pride in your culture. I don't care what the Church thinks, pride is a good feeling. It lets us take inspiration, lets us strive to a greater goal, lets us feel a sense of accomplishment. If I'm proud of something I've done, it thickens my skin towards inevitable criticism, so that I don't decide to kill myself when someone says they don't like my sentence.

So on a day when the noteworthy patriotism of Wales is the focus, what can be taken away? Surprisingly, I think the best that can be done is to make today "just another day." Surely we should take the pride from today, and make it last? Feel as proud as we do today all year? What's wrong with taking such patriotism and retaining it, and all the positive feelings that derive from it?

Heddiw yw'r dydd i ni Cymry i sefyll lan yn erbyn gormes y Saes. Gadewch i ni ymfalchïo trwy'r flwyddyn, a rhoi'r neges i Lundain ein fod ni yn haeddi, yn barod, yn berchen ar wlad annibynnol, ar wlad rhyngwladol, ac yn barod i ymladd i dorri'r cadwyni. Mr Brown - mae'r "Ymerodraeth" Prydeinig wedi gorffen - un tasg sydd ar ôl. Un hawdd, un syml un amlwg. Rho'r wlad sydd â chymaint o ddiwylliant, hanes a iaith unigryw ei lle cyfreithlon yn y byd yn ôl. Cywirwch y rhai sy'n meddwl bod Cymru yn ran o Loegr. Cywirwch y trais a digwyddodd cymaint of flynyddoedd yn ôl.

Give Any One Species Too Much Rope And They'll Fuck It Up

Well, I've been active haven't I? Absolutely loads has happened , and I've been dying to post it, and -

Yes, ok, that's bullshit. What has happened? Nothing out of the norm; death, arguments, Fidel Castro stepping down (ok - not quite within the norm, but it deserved a mention nonetheless), no news of a Pink Floyd reunion.

However, the first point on the list, "death", unfortunately is the most common. The media is reporting that 17 teenagers have commit suicide in 13 months in a town near me, Bridgend. Admittedly, I don't think I've ever actually been there, but that's not the point - I haven't been to the Middle East either.

But it lets me talk about suicide - what a delightful subject - and its stupidity. In what way does suicide solve any problems? Am I missing something, or does it only make things worse? Oh no, I'm really sad, things aren't going my way - let's be really stupid and kick the bucket! I'll pass all the sadness on to others and waste my life. This isn't a video game; game over really is, game over.

Not to mention the selfishness of it. What a wonderfully nice thing to do - fill your friends and family with grief. Well done - not only have you wasted your won life, you've ruined someone else's as well. Aren't you going to popular in heaven.

Oh, wait. There is no heaven. Too many religions, too many different ideas, the chances that one idea is right are so slim you might as well give up trying to say what comes next. So when you've got the rope out, tied yourself nice and tight, rest assured that the bacteria can have a nice meal. And death is supposed to be making things better?

How many planets have we found? How many stellar systems? And how many have life? Let's not waste this opportunity - by the most improbable of chances, it is this set of people that have survived this long. Everyone who's (not) reading this has won one race already - and there are no races harder to win that that one. And consider the chances when you add the probability for your parents to turn out exactly like that, you realise that this life - however crap it may seem - is rare. Incomprehensibly rare.

I thought people liked preserving rare things?

The bleeding hearts and the artists make their stand.

Well, it's been a long time since the last post (happy new year, and all that crap to you). I wish I could say that I've been busy, but the truth is that I've been playing Shine On You Crazy Diamond on guitar just about every day. Yeah, it's a pathetic excuse, but at least it's true. Anyway, I broke my top E string earlier, which brings me here, with a rather different tone to the other posts.

This came up last Tuesday in a Biology class. We started a new unit, and we began with the heart and blood. All very well, four chambers of the heart, blood carries oxygen and food etc. around the body - nothing particularly mind-taxing. Then my teacher puts on some video to end the lesson. It was one of those "real life" stories, that are supposed to explain science at the same time. Anyway, the story was about some kid who had a genetic disease that wrecks the muscle tissue that he had got off his father. Then we were told how his father had died from the disease - his aorta (largest artery in the body) had split. Upon hearing this (and the lead up in the video), I go from a relatively healthy state to feeling extremely faint, and spend the break which followed the lesson trying to cool down.

This didn't bother me too much, my cynical nature could discount it as a coincidence. However during the next lesson on the Thursday, my teacher brought out a pig's heart, and dissected it. I thought nothing of it beforehand, I'd seen blood and gore before without any ill-effects. Yet again, however, I felt faint. I did a bit of research that night, and apparently this is a symptom of haemophobia.

Except I'm not afraid of blood.

I can write this blog without any ill-effects. I feel fine, despite the fact I'm picturing both events in my mind, empathising the blood element to try and provoke a reaction. Even when I feel feint, I can still comprehend what's happening, and realise that it is, as a "phobia" states - irrational to fear it. As I saw the heart come out (until I had to stop watching because I would feint had I stayed any longer), I was not afraid, and to be honest, I was looking forward to seeing it get opened up and seeing the different parts interacting. But some unconscious part of my mind decides I'm not allowed to do this.

What puzzles me most, however, is how can someone whose whole belief begins at rational thought, develop something so irrational sub-consciously? I'm no psychiatrist (and far from it), but it seems to me that there is something more going on in my head than I had previously thought.

I know I'm probably stating the obvious, but this really has been a bit of a wake up call for me. How much control do we really have over our minds? Is there anyway the conscious part of the brain defeat the sub-conscious in determine how we act and react?

Can we change?

You'd Better Watch Out, There May Be Dogs About!

Isn't religion retarded?

Why spend so much time praising some guy, naming a load of people after him, and then lock someone up for naming a stuffed toy, which just happens to have the same name? I mean in no way to be disrespectful, but something tells me that there is a flaw in the logic here...

I don't want to criticise what anyone believes; you can think what you want, who am I to stop you? But if you do chose to believe something, you have to also accept that not everyone will agree with you. Also, you should accept that sometimes you have to waken up. We are not, contrary to certain belief, living in ancient times. One of the many aspects of society is that is changes. And, if religion is to be a part of society, iit too must change.

Ah, but that would be too easy.

I don't have a problem with traditions and being "old-fashioned". I couldn't be patriotic if I did. I do, however, have a problem when people start punishing others for not following a particular tradition.

People today are too wound up in their own beliefs. Everything is taken so seriously, no wonder anything like Monty Python's Life of Brian is such a nice relief. Utopia will probably never be reached, but that is no reason not to strive for it. And a vital part in that is recognising that a certain cliché is true:

Everyone is different.

Yes, we've heard it all before. Pity no one thinks about it. If people would just accept that without definite proof, everyone will have their own theories as to why the universe is how it is. No need - nor reason - to shove your own theory down our throats. And I don't want to blame one religion in particular, nor accuse them all, but most are guilty is one way or another.

Are we such sheep that we allow these evangelists to brainwash us? Wasn't the most powerful country on Earth supposedly set up on freedom and liberty?

Then prove it.